How Natalie teaches me not to sweat the small stuff

She: "Can I put some jam on my pancake?"

I: "I'll do it for you" (thinking she might spill on the table cloth, which would irritate me, and I prefer to avoid irritation)

She: "OK"

I take some jam and accidentally spill it on the table cloth.

She: "Oh, that's OK, papa"

Monkey bars

Natalie is making incredible progress. She reads a children's (level 2) book every evening now. When I ask her questions about a story she can pretty well articulate the answers. Apparently at school (Kindergarten!) there are several kids in her class who are further ahead. They set a great example - putting the bar high works well for Natalie. This week she told me she could do the monkey bars at school and this weekend she showed me. So also physically she is improving rapidly.

Unlike her little brother she needs praise for things she creates. If I fail to applaud her work, she complains to her mother about my lack of interest. Her brother simply works on what he wants and does not want to talk about it. So she wants me to show more interest and he wants me to have less. And I want her to be less dependent and him to share more.

I sense there are lessons to be learned here, so I'll stay tuned.

Ready!

This month Natalie starts Kindergarten. Last week I told her that she is ready for Kindergarten. The look on her face taught me that I could not have made her happier with anything else. I intend to tell her little brother a few months earlier.

Today I gave her a journal book to collect words and she happily started filling the first page. There are a gazillion ways of stimulating one's child to explore the world and I hope I can discover and apply them all.

5 and counting!

Natalie had a breakthrough this week. When she turned four she was able to do simple additions like 7 + 9, but in a mechanical way. She'd draw seven lines, then nine, count the number of lines, and write down the resulting number.

This week, however, she was able to figure out 6 + 1, and then 6 + 2, and 8 + 3, without using any tools but her brain, truly understanding addition.

It feels like I have been trying to create a fire for two years with a mirror and sunlight, and now I see some smoke. When I blow I see it glowing. Soon there will be a blaze. Exciting!

Who taught her that?

Dad> Natalie, what number comes after 39?

Natalie> Papa, I don't want to have a conversation about that right now.

Character Sandpapering

Child> Can you get me a drink, papa?
I> (Whispering) You forgot the magic word.
Child> Can You get me a drink, papa?
I> I did not hear the magic word.
Child> (Shouting) I WANT MY DRINK!
I> That does not work.
Child> ...
Child> Can you get me a drink, please?
I> Sure!

As you sow, so shall you reap

Months ago I tried to teach Natalie's little brother "The grass is green, the sky is blue, and I love you." It seemed too hard for him, so I let it go. Last night at bed time I said: "I love you." His reply: "The grass is green, ky blue, and I love you."

She wears them at night

Natalie is one of those girls who just loves ballet. At times she must wear a tutu. And we can do her no greater favor than letting her take a ballet class.

Today was the first day of her new class. She was thrilled to wear her new apparel. The whole day she kept her ballet shoes on. She is asleep now, probably dreaming of piques, positions, and pirouettes. She is certainly wearing the right shoes for them ...

Proud

Today Natalie surprised me (again). I asked her what she had learned at school today. She said she had worked with a pentagon. Yes, you read that right: a pentagon. Never mind she is three years old (well, almost four). She knows about pentagons. That's my daughter.

I am so glad I can have her attend the Montessori school. So glad.

Back to school

Now that Natalie attends pre-school, the whole family is being educated. When daddy (after a long and tiring day!) lets his elbows rest on the table during dinner, she is quick to remark:

No elbows on the table, papa!

And she is right. Proper posture yields superior results. Can't wait to find out what else I will learn again...

Feedback

Natalie has reached a new milestone. She now teaches others what she has learned. This means that at every traffic light she tells me whether to stop or continue. I can handle that.

It is harder, however, to accept feedback on the way I eat. "You need to sit straight in front of your plate, papa!" That's right. I have to be careful what I teach her because it can, no, WILL be fed back to me.

Go away!

Natalie has a little brother. This week she taught him his first full sentence: "Go away!" He does not really know what it means and he uses it quite a lot. So now we have a toddler running around in the house telling everyone to go away.

Soooo sweet

Natalie has learned a very sweet song at school.

I've got peace like a river
I've got peace like a river
I've got peace like a river
in my heart

I've got love like a mountain
I've got love like a mountain
I've got love like a mountain
in my heart

I've got joy like a fountain
I've got joy like a fountain
I've got joy like a fountain
in my heart

I got my daughter back!

Natalie has had her third ear infection this year. Before we realized this she was not herself - she kept whining and refusing anything we proposed. The moment she got her medicine and the pain went away I recognized my sweet little girl again. Hopefully the probiotics undo the harmful side-effects of the antibiotics.

Provider Man

We got snowed in. We underestimated the winter in Oregon and did not buy any tire chains. So after a week we were running out of supplies. As a Provider Man I had no other choice than to face the elements and go out hunting. Actually, I loved getting out for a walk with my backpack and hiking boots. I have sufficient gear and during the walk I even got too hot in my heavy winter coat and gloves.

At the store I did my best to meet all my wife's wishes. We had a lot of phone conversations. "I cannot find the molasses, Dear. They only have blackstrap molasses, the kind you don't like." "No, they don't have them in the Organics Section. You have to find the regular section where they have mild taste molasses." "Oh, OK." Walking around in the grocery store I noticed several other guys on the phone. I realized they were all talking to their wives at home. One even winked at me - the only way we could communicate (being on the phone). For a moment I felt like being a member of The Brotherhood of Men.

On the way home I realized we men have evolved a lot. A few thousand years ago we just went out together and our wives ate the prey we got. Now we go out of our way to ensure we get the right ingredients for the cookies they bake for us.

A new adventure

In January Natalie will start at a Montessori preschool. We are all very excited about it. As young as she is, Natalie senses that a new chapter is starting - she has repeatedly requested to go to the "New School." The more we read about it (like here) the more we are convinced we made the right choice. This is our school.

In the moment

Today we celebrated Natalie's birthday. So I asked her at breakfast how it felt being three. She looked confused. I said: "Yesterday you were two, and today you are three. What is different?" She pointed to the wall and said: "The clock is moving!"

Montessori school visit

Today my wife and I visited a Montessori school. The school's location is far from ideal, so on our way there I thought "It must be really really good for us to even consider taking our kids here every day." As a matter of fact, I thought it was so unlikely that I felt a bit embarrassed taking the time of the school to show us what they offered.

The minute I entered the classroom I was so moved that I found myself fighting my tears. What I saw was unbelievable. No flyers, no websites, no testimonies could ever have convinced me that this was possible. Can you imagine 28 toddlers in a classroom all working quietly and diligently on their projects? They were all exploring things. Some were helping others. None of them were fighting. None of them were screaming. They all cleaned up after themselves. And it all was so natural. Natural discipline. No force whatsoever. Stunningly beautiful.

I can imagine you would not believe this. I would not have. Seeing it happen right in front of me convinced me that this was what I wanted more than anything in my life. And I realized how clumsy the regular schools are where they force all children to learn the same thing at the same time, ignoring the interests and talents of the precious individual human beings that the schools are meant to serve. It's no surprise that lots of time and energy at regular schools gets wasted keeping everyone in line. I realized how silly my prejudice was that children would not learn anything useful if they were left to choose. The children I saw were all under six years of age and several of them were working with numbers and letters. Some were spelling words. I did not learn any of that before I was seven.

Afterwards I spoke with my wife, who had been observing in another classroom. She had had the same experience and the same emotions. We share the same conviction. We will do anything we can to make this possible for our children. We will be strong and work hard. And we will love it.

Two and counting!

Yesterday Natalie finally managed to count apple bites correctly. A couple of months ago she was able to recognize the numbers one through eleven but she had little understanding of counting: Whenever I asked her to count some items, she'd point at them randomly and say one, two, three, etc. Sometimes she would stop at the right number but most often she would not.

This weekend I showed her that she could move one apple bite to the side with each number. And repeatedly she was able to figure out the right number. It made us both happy: me because she could count and her because she got so many apple bites.

About fourty years ago I delighted my father by listing all powers of two up to 8192. To show his appreciation he gave me some money. It was the first money I ever earned. Years later I got my master's in math. So today I gave Natalie a present: a jigsaw puzzle of Thomas the tank engine.

Can't wait to teach her differential equations!

Because actually probably

One of the juiciest parts of being a father is seeing my children develop skills. Natalie's vocabulary is growing rapidly. She picks up words everywhere and tries to use them in sentences. Nowadays she hardly says any sentence without one of the words 'actually,' 'probably,' and 'because' in them. When she tells me a story she does it with conviction and full of confidence. She looks me straight in the eyes and I look back and I just listen because probably she likes me to, actually.